# Off-Season Squirrel Fun Time



## Lacumo (Aug 18, 2013)

This is for everybody who's got a case of the "season's closed blues" going, has a squirrel problem in their bird feeders/yard/garage/whatever and would like to have some fun with the furry little buggers during the summer and early fall.

Squirrels love bananas. The more overripe the bananas are, the more the squirrels love them. The squirrels love bananas most of all when the bananas are totally blackened, internally liquified and the liquid is fermenting. When they open up a black banana and slurp up some fermenting liquified goo, they get intoxicated in almost no time flat because it doesn't take a fifth of Captain Morgan or a case of Molson to get blasted when your brain is the size of a pea.

Not being accustomed to alcohol, they lose their ordinary coordination and agility and the results are hilarious. They fall off of the roofs, power and phone lines that they usually run along. They lose their ability to judge distances, so they'll take their usual flying leap at a chain link fence and bounce off of it instead of landing on it. They'll try to run up a tree, telephone pole or trellis and fall off of it, etc... They lose most of their ability to get away so if you wanted to, you could toss a bucket of ice water on them... or maybe even spray paint them International Safety Orange or some other PETA-disapproved color. Personally, I never pressed it beyond the bucket of ice water because Honey wouldn't have approved (and I didn't want to hear about it forever). My experience has been limited to squirrels, so I don't know if the intoxication deal includes rabbits, raccoons or other backyard critters.

So... Have a good summer getting your neighborhood squirrels blasted with rotting bananas and enjoying the live comedy show they'll put on for you. Maybe somebody could post some good drunk squirrel comedy videos.


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## Sunchierefram (Nov 16, 2013)

I might have to give this a try.


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## Acedoc (May 19, 2012)

the tribals in india do this- first put out feed grain at a set place everyday, then soak the grain for 2 days in country hooch/ moonshine what u will.

the birds which eat the grain wind up the same way and can be easily caught.


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