# A Goose, Mrs. Moniker, and some big Breasts.



## Mrs. Clever Moniker (Nov 3, 2013)

I am not sure if this is where I put this, but it seems fitting to put the "preparing wild game" story in the Slingshot Hunting Forum. I am sure Mr. Clever will be posting later about yet "Another Canada Goose Success", and the tales of what he brings home in his man purse will wow the masses as usual. But guess what! I just cut the flippin thing open in my kitchen! And it was GLORIOUS! So here is my tale, I will try and keep it short.

Mr. Clever asked me to bring home his backpack containing a freshly killed Canada Goose and leave it outside for him until he got home about an hour later. I obliged, taking his bag heavy with the days kill home with me in my friend's car.

Somewhere between Mr.Clever's request, and my door I decided it was my turn to do the dirty work. Opening the backpack in my kitchen, I was not quite sure how to get the goose out, as it was squeezed rather tightly in there head first. Not wanting to grab the goose by its butt I upended the backpack and allowed the giant bird to slowly ease out onto its back.









I took a moment to get used to the sight of the animal, having seen many dead animals up close at this point, this didn't phase me. But knowing that this time it was my job to cut into the animal felt like leveling up on a video game or something...maybe Zelda?, and I didn't want to mess it up. I stroked its belly, feeling the feathers, examined its wings, and just spent a little time appreciating that it died so that I may eat. I took a few minutes to watch a video on how to breast a goose, and then began.

Finding a spot low on the breast I dug in the feathers, through the down and found the flesh. I pulled the flesh apart with my fingers making a hole that I could get my hands into, and went to work separating the skin from the breast. At one point I had to push down on the breast to create leverage and the thing let out a gigantic HONK....at this point I almost died...... I think I jumped 3 ft in the air. I composed myself, and continued, exposing both breasts in about 4 minutes. I took Mr.Clever's hunting knife and doing my best separated the breast from breast bone. At one point I hit an artery and blood started pooling at the bottom of the carcass, and that was okay...in fact it was all okay. I got 2 big beautiful goose breasts off that bird, and I will do it again. Next up, skinning squirrels...feathers and fur are a touch different to handle in my opinion 









Sorry if this was too long, I was pretty excited, I am going to put those breasts into an Irish stew later on this week.

Cheers,

Mrs. Clever Moniker.


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## M.J (Nov 1, 2010)

"HONK!"

:rofl:

Great write-up!


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## SuperMonkeySlinger (Jan 28, 2013)

Lots of meat right there! I gotta say, Im happy Mr. Moniker got a good girl. Alot of girls these days wont even touch a bird!

Thanks for the write up Miss!


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## Aussie Allan In Thailand (Jan 28, 2013)

Absolutely great start Mrs. C.M.

Although I think hubby would agree that skining the whole bird first would of made life a lot easier.

It is easy enough to do; and a skinned bird once, and you will never pluck again.

Also it makes life seperating parts in the kitchen, very easy to do at a latter time.

Cheers Allan


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## Charles (Aug 26, 2010)

Loved your account ... a girl with "pluck", as they used to say ... :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Cheers .... Charles


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## Imperial (Feb 9, 2011)

those are some lovely breast you got showing there. great telling, i even giggled at your "HONK" reaction.


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## Can-Opener (May 11, 2013)

Way to go MCM! You know where food comes from!  Just think if he had shot it with a shotgun you would have to root out all of the little BB's. SS much easier


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## bullseyeben! (Apr 24, 2011)

Whata girl! I think Mrs Bullseyeben could learn a thing or two fron Mrs Clever Moniker lol..
Thanks for the hunger pains again lol..


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## Aussie Allan In Thailand (Jan 28, 2013)

Heck there is,a joke about the,shotgun post, and pellets, lumps in the breasts etc.

But I think I better leave that alone in mixed company and all.....

Purely my slightly twisted sence of humour Mrs. C.M. no offence intended.

So forgive me please, no excuse as is just 2 pm local Bangkok time now, and not even had a drink to blame yet.

Cheers Allan


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## SmilingFury (Jul 2, 2013)

Great write up Mrs. CM. I am loving the new point of view you bring to the forum. The "honk" part was fantastic but the Zelda reference made it for me. If you listen hard enough, you can hear the song at the end of each board playing right now...

You are well on your way to completing your tri-force!! Keep 'em coming!

Be well,
SF


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## tnflipper52 (Jan 26, 2012)

Mr. Clever chose well as did you young lady. Nice account of the ungaggled goose.  Save a drumstick for me  . And thanks for sharing.


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## Clever Moniker (May 12, 2013)

Awesome write up babe, just wish I was there to see it!


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## ndspecial (Nov 28, 2012)

just a purely great story all around. Good job. i yet to clean wild game. only thing i cleaned was fish. with that said your a few levels ahead of me.


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## Mrs. Clever Moniker (Nov 3, 2013)

M.J said:


> "HONK!"
> 
> :rofl:
> 
> Great write-up!


For a split second I thought " this bloody thing is still alive and my hands are inside its skin!!!" And then I came to my senses. It scared the sh*t outta me though, that's for sure!



Aussie Allan In Thailand said:


> Absolutely great start Mrs. C.M.
> 
> Although I think hubby would agree that skining the whole bird first would of made life a lot easier.
> 
> ...


I never thought of skinning the whole bird, the video I watched just showed pulling the skin up past the breast until the esophagus is exposed and cutting from there. Next time I might skin all the way up past the bottom of the neck though because the skin kept falling back onto the breast every now and then. Thanks for the idea!



Charles said:


> Loved your account ... a girl with "pluck", as they used to say ... :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
> 
> Cheers .... Charles


Thanks Charles  I don't think I will be eligible for "pluck" status until I can do it without something covering my nose haha.



Clever Moniker said:


> Awesome write up babe, just wish I was there to see it!


I would have to charge admission  It would be far too entertaining for any spectators. Also the goose and I had quite the conversation going...mostly just me saying things like, "now don't bleed all over me fella I am wearing my nice jeans," and such


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## S.S. sLinGeR (Oct 17, 2013)

Excellent !


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## lightgeoduck (Apr 3, 2011)

Ha, i think the "honk" would make me piss myself... I mean that would be a terrible time to realize it wasn't a kill :O

Great job!


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## Winnie (Nov 10, 2010)

I think Mr. Clever is actually Mr. Lucky.

When my wife and I were dating (almost 40 years ago) she impressed me by helping me pluck 3 geese. After we married it all ended. It looks like Mr. Clever got the wife I thought I had


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## SuperMonkeySlinger (Jan 28, 2013)

Winnie said:


> I think Mr. Clever is actually Mr. Lucky.
> When my wife and I were dating (almost 40 years ago) she impressed me by helping me pluck 3 geese. After we married it all ended. It looks like Mr. Clever got the wife I thought I had


 We cant all be winners..... :rofl:


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## JEFF BURG (Nov 12, 2013)

now thats what i call style :thumbsup: :banana:


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## bigron (Nov 29, 2012)

HONK!!!!!nice breasts


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## Samurai Samoht (Apr 6, 2013)

I laughed out loud when reading that the thing honked as you were working on it. Still laughing as I think about it. 

Tom


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## Mrs. Clever Moniker (Nov 3, 2013)

SamuraiSamoht said:


> I laughed out loud when reading that the thing honked as you were working on it. Still laughing as I think about it.
> 
> Tom


It is funnier to read than experience  trust me.


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## Henry the Hermit (Jun 2, 2010)

Well, I admit that, at first I was a bit disappointed, but GREAT thread Mrs CM. Mr. CM is a very lucky guy to have a woman who, on discovering he still plays with slingshots, not only supports him but participates in his nuttiness.


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## Clever Moniker (May 12, 2013)

Henry in Panama said:


> Well, I admit that, at first I was a bit disappointed, but GREAT thread Mrs CM. Mr. CM is a very lucky guy to have a woman who, on discovering he still plays with slingshots, not only supports him but participates in his nuttiness.


Hahahaha, nice one Henry. I can see how you'd be disappointed though!


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