# The sayings of Will Rogers



## Rayshot (Feb 1, 2010)

*
**Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash with his best friend, Wylie Post, was probably the greatest political sage this country ever has known.*
*1.** Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.*
*2.** Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.*
*3..** There are two theories to arguing with a woman . . . Neither works.*
*4.* *Never miss a good chance to shut up.*
*5.** Always drink upstream from the herd.*
*6.** If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.*​*
**7.** The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.* 
*8.** There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.*
*9.** Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.*
*10.** If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.*
*11.** Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.*
*12.** After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.*
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*ABOUT GROWING OLDER...*
*First ~** Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.*
*Second ~** The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.*
*Third ~** Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.*
*Fourth ~** When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.*
*Fifth ~** You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.*
*Sixth ~** I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top*
*Seventh ~** One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.*​
*Eighth ~ * *One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.*​*
*​*Ninth ~** Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.*
*Tenth ~** Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.*​
*And, finally ~** If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.*​


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## Rayshot (Feb 1, 2010)

I enjoyed these and thought you would too


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## Henry the Hermit (Jun 2, 2010)

Rayshot said:


> I enjoyed these and thought you would too


My current favorite WR saying is "Be thankful you don't get all the government you pay for."


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## Bugar (Dec 24, 2009)

Thank you=Lots of REALITY there











Rayshot said:


> I enjoyed these and thought you would too


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## Tex-Shooter (Dec 17, 2009)

Great list!!! -- Tex-Shooter


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## whipcrackdeadbunny (May 22, 2010)

I didn't know him at all, quite wonderful.


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## philly (Jun 13, 2010)

Thanks Ray, enjoyed that.
Philly


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## A+ Slingshots (Jan 22, 2010)

Ray I've always enjoyed his wit and earthy wisdom. Some of these I hadn't heard. Merry Christmas!!!


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## Dayhiker (Mar 13, 2010)

I liked them a lot. And everything *is *dry or leaking here. Still funny, though.


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## fish (Dec 24, 2009)

nice poem.


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## ONESHOT68 (Dec 28, 2010)

I loved this so much, that I've printed it off and now have it on the wall in my tattoo studio......


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## ONESHOT68 (Dec 28, 2010)

Here's some more sayings.....

Eagles may soar...............

But rabbits don't get sucked into jet engines........

...........................................................................................................

If at first you don't succeed.........

Then skydiving's not for you.............

.............................................................................................................

The only thing a man needs to know about women is........

No matter if your right...........your still wrong...........

................................................................................................................

God made man first because.......

He didn't want a woman looking over his shoulder critisizing..........

..................................................................................................................

It takes a lot of facial muscles to show someone your angry......

But only a few to lift your middle finger and say F*** O**


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## whipcrackdeadbunny (May 22, 2010)

If man was meant to fly, he would've invented the jet engine.

No such thing as boring times, just boring people.

Anchovies, Pinapple and Jalapeno peppers, make a pizza topping, not the man.

If the minds height is measured by the shadow it casts, I'm going to buy a 100 watt bulb.

You can lead a ** to culture, but you can't make her think.

Is it antediluvian, to use the word antediluvian?

When a woman says no, it means no. When a man says yes, he probably hasn't heard the question (Bill Bailey)

The only difference between men and women, is that women are beautiful, smart, sensitive and capable and men aren't.

The only difference between men and women is, men are realistic.

The more you torment and abuse me, the more tormented and abused I become.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, words can send me to jail with a big fine.

If the only certainties in life are death and taxes, it won't be long before they charge us for dying.

Being president, means you'll be ridiculed and hated by everyone you're supposed to be helping; Bush, was leaps and bounds ahead of the rest.

There's only one thing worse than stepping in something disgusting, knowing where it came from.

If you burn your bridges, be prepared to get wet feet.


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## Delaney (Nov 22, 2010)

I grew up with a little drawing of will Rogers in my room with the quote " I have always said, Ive never met a man i didnt like" its a good attitude to have and pretty appropriate for this forum i think.


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