# World's most ridiculous superpowers...



## f00by (May 18, 2010)

Think of any?

The ability to increase gravity... But only when your falling.


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## treefork (Feb 1, 2010)

:rofl:


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The ability to light matches only with a slingshot?


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## leon13 (Oct 4, 2012)

going in the woods with no saw in my bag pac and leaving my slingshot @ home !!!


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## ash (Apr 23, 2013)

Being able to conjure up ten thousand spoons, when all you need is a knife :lol:


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## Imperial (Feb 9, 2011)

functioning while drunk


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The power to always make the right decision but only while in a coma


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## Imperial (Feb 9, 2011)

holding onto the grass to avoid flying off the earth


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The power to shed a whole layer of skin at once!


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## Malleus (Jul 25, 2013)

North Korea :king:


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

Power to sweat sour cream. Blarg


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## ash (Apr 23, 2013)

The power to see through walls.... of sewer pipes.


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

Power to shoot lint out of your belly button


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## ceedub (Apr 22, 2013)

The power to speak fluent earth worm.


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## treefork (Feb 1, 2010)

The ability to understand what woman think and feel but would have to go through PMS every month. lol


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The ability to hold your breath in perpetuity under lava.


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## ceedub (Apr 22, 2013)

Is anyone else reminded of the movie Mystery Men?


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## ceedub (Apr 22, 2013)

The ability to defecate on command!


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## ceedub (Apr 22, 2013)

The power to grow excessive amounts of hair... on the roof of your mouth.


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## Imperial (Feb 9, 2011)

the ability to read assembly instructions . . . (before you fk it up)


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

ceedub said:


> Is anyone else reminded of the movie Mystery Men?


Yes.

The power to spontaneously combust.


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## Imperial (Feb 9, 2011)

the power to watch dfui pfs videos, nonstop . . . :mellow:


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

Imperial said:


> the power to watch dfui pfs videos, nonstop . . . :mellow:


You can't Impy?

The power to move you! ... slightly to the left.


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## ceedub (Apr 22, 2013)

The power to speak to animals... that is if the animal can fully comprehend your language.


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The power to move at the speed of light while in Luxembourg


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The power to turn white marshmallow into pink marshmallow!


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## Imperial (Feb 9, 2011)

power to understand women :wacko: :blink: :mellow:


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The power to beat anyone at thumb-wars


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## ash (Apr 23, 2013)

The power to slingshoot an archery target at 165 yards.


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The ability to read the minds of cabbages


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## ash (Apr 23, 2013)

The ability to cure the ability to read the minds of cabbages.


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## tnflipper52 (Jan 26, 2012)

The power to say things twice. The power to say things twice.


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## Btoon84 (Nov 22, 2011)

The power to cook minute rice in 60sec


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## ceedub (Apr 22, 2013)

The power to get a booger off your finger with the first flick every time.


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## Btoon84 (Nov 22, 2011)

ceedub said:


> The power to get a booger off your finger with the first flick every time.


Dude that would be a legit superpower


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## lightgeoduck (Apr 3, 2011)

The power to make someone pass gas, but only in elevators.


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## tnflipper52 (Jan 26, 2012)

The ability to watch pro wrestling and think that this is real.


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## Btoon84 (Nov 22, 2011)

The ability to watch The Notebook and not cry.


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## Imperial (Feb 9, 2011)

tnflipper52 said:


> The ability to watch pro wrestling and think that this is real.


 :angry: its still real to me [email protected] !


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## lightgeoduck (Apr 3, 2011)

Btoon84 said:


> The ability to watch The Notebook and not cry.


The ability to watch The Notebook


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## ash (Apr 23, 2013)

The ability to watch Twilight and not lose any brain cells (includes the ability to watch anything when you have no brain cells).


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The power to cause someone to have the feeling of déjà vu


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The power to cause someone to have the feeling of déjà vu


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## tnflipper52 (Jan 26, 2012)

The power to be fly on the wall any time you wished but then forget what you heard


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## ash (Apr 23, 2013)

The power to make lame jokes hilarious, but only when there's no-one else around.

(this seemed funnier before)


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The power to give yourself leprosy


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## tnflipper52 (Jan 26, 2012)

The power to guess what that plum species is


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

Power to pass through the first 10% of a solid object


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## Imperial (Feb 9, 2011)

the power to correctly i.d. whatever tree fork Dr.J is posting :angry: (man, i hate guessing)


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

Invulnerability to sporks


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## ceedub (Apr 22, 2013)

f00by said:


> Invulnerability to sporks


I COULD USE THAT! I see them things sharpened down as a weapon weekly


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The ability to cure cancer by punching kittens


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

Power to go back to sleep after the wife has woken you because of a "funny noise" ffs


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## Imperial (Feb 9, 2011)

f00by said:


> Power to go back to sleep after the wife has woken you because of a "funny noise" ffs


maybe you fart funny in your sleep :iono:


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## jld70 (Mar 27, 2013)

the ability to operate your new smart phone without loking dumb (to a 12 year old)


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## Imperial (Feb 9, 2011)

:mellow: ability to tell difference between multiplex and plywood. . . :screwy:


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The power to remember all the digits of PI.


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## ash (Apr 23, 2013)

The power to commit the dreaded "Dutch Oven" at will.... on yourself.


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The power to keep my 2 year old occupied for more than 2 mins...


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## NoobShooter (Sep 15, 2012)

The power to stop all the voices in my head.


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

Power to cause ridiculous "science" arguments, at will, between 2 unsuspecting people.


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## NoobShooter (Sep 15, 2012)

The power to shoot lasers from my finger..... When no one else is around..


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## tnflipper52 (Jan 26, 2012)

The power to make stupid people smart, (I forgot, you can't fix stupid).


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## treefork (Feb 1, 2010)

The power to prevent war in the world


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## NoobShooter (Sep 15, 2012)

The power to talk to leaves.


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

treefork said:


> The power to prevent war in the world


Don't see this as ridiculous in the slightest! Also see flippers idea tied to this.

The power to turn left handlers into right and visa versa.


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## Imperial (Feb 9, 2011)

treefork said:


> The power to prevent war in the world


. . . by making slingshots out of olive wood- peace slingshots.


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## tnflipper52 (Jan 26, 2012)

The power to eat chocolate candy and not get fat♡


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## NoobShooter (Sep 15, 2012)

The power to remove my pinky toe with the slightest little tug..


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## NoobShooter (Sep 15, 2012)

The power to turn water to mud.


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## treefork (Feb 1, 2010)

The power when reading some pencil neck geeks cowardly and insulting post not to say [email protected]@K YOU!


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## treefork (Feb 1, 2010)

The power to reach into a computer screen and grab some cyber smart a** sissy and break his cowardly pencil neck neck.


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## treefork (Feb 1, 2010)

The power to pull a cyber coward out into reality for just 30 secs and teach her a lesson she will never forget and send her back to her alternate lifestyle in San Francisco.

Are these ridiculous?


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## tnflipper52 (Jan 26, 2012)

treefork said:


> The power to pull a cyber coward out into reality for just 30 secs and teach her a lesson she will never forget and send her back to her alternate lifestyle in San Francisco.
> 
> Are these ridiculous?


Not ridiculous at all. I do part time security work and at time one wishes there were no one but myself and turd head alone on the earth for 20 seconds. Same with the wise a$$ snipers on the net.

How about the Power to trace cyber signals to their source treefork? Satisfying to say the least.


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

Did i miss something?


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The power to believe its not butter!


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## tnflipper52 (Jan 26, 2012)

The power to live until you die.


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## lightgeoduck (Apr 3, 2011)

The power to make the right decision after the fact


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The power to know the number of the day before you watch sesame st.


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## All Buns Glazing (Apr 22, 2012)

tnflipper52 said:


> How about the Power to trace cyber signals to their source treefork? Satisfying to say the least.


The power to use a comma and understand how it changes a sentence meaning! 

(Did you mean to write "How about the Power to trace cyber signals to their source, treefork?") :naughty:


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## ash (Apr 23, 2013)

The power to predict lottery numbers after ticket sales have closed.


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## treefork (Feb 1, 2010)

The power to rejoice when the scum in front of me at the grocery store pulls out two Links cards and then drives away in a Lexus.


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## ceedub (Apr 22, 2013)

treefork said:


> The power to rejoice when the scum in front of me at the grocery store pulls out two Links cards and then drives away in a Lexus.


is a links card government assistance or some kind of golf membership? If its government assistance then you about actually"love" that Lexus, after all you bought it!


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## ceedub (Apr 22, 2013)

The power to curve your shots from a slingshot, but only in a full 360 degree circle.


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## treefork (Feb 1, 2010)

ceedub said:


> treefork said:
> 
> 
> > The power to rejoice when the scum in front of me at the grocery store pulls out two Links cards and then drives away in a Lexus.
> ...


Illinois food public assistance. Blatant abuse.


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## tnflipper52 (Jan 26, 2012)

The power to pick up a stone and know which way it will curve before you shoot it, then miss.


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The ability to stop someone sneezing just before they do.


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## lightgeoduck (Apr 3, 2011)

The power to run faster when you lost your way


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## ash (Apr 23, 2013)

The power to pick the horse that finishes fourth, but never the winner.


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## jld70 (Mar 27, 2013)

The power to know exactly when your bands will break and,forgetting one shot before.


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

the power to increase the speed of any projectile aimed at your privates.


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## lightgeoduck (Apr 3, 2011)

The power to state the obvious


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The ability to tell the difference between good ash and bad ash.


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## ceedub (Apr 22, 2013)

f00by said:


> The ability to tell the difference between good ash and bad ash.


Shop smart! SHOP S-MART!


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The power to say "Beetlejuice" 3 times without an annoying Keaton coming to bug the hell outta me.


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

Power to reach the itch between your shoulder blades without looking like a right eejit


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## f00by (May 18, 2010)

The power to bring old threads back to life!


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